This morning, I was waiting for Vanya to come get in the bathtub while he made a morning poo. When he got up from the toilet, he observed that it had come out green.

If you haven't seen it, Transocean issued a proxy statement (whatever the hell that is) calling 2010 their best safety year ever and disclosing millions of dollars in pay hikes and salary increases for top executives.

One time, I witnessed from a distance as my sister was riding her bike and got hit by a car, on her birthday. I went home and enjoyed another piece of birthday cake before going back to see the emergency vehicles lined up at the site of the accident. (In my defense, I honestly thought she had swerved to miss the car, mishandled the curb, and fell into a yard.)

Madness 1 -- A bit of advice: If you aren't using the NCAA March Madness iphone app, you're asleep at the wheel. You can watch every game, of course. The picture is crystal clear, and you can pause the action and pick back up like it's on a DVR. You can watch highlights, box scores, or see the bracket in real time. It's a front-pager this week and next.

As I type this, I'm almost all the way through Carnival without having actually gone to a parade. Tonight is Mrs. theskinnyonbenny's parade, so we will go catch that one along with whatever is rolling beforehand. But that's not to say that it hasn't been busy. This is the time of year where I'm all giddy and loving life, because the weather is warm but not too humid, the flowers are starting to bloom, and I can work, eat, and play entirely outside.

Back when I was a college student, someone came up with the notion that on a home football game Saturday, they could get a couple of thousand people out to the Parade Ground at LSU, run through the Hokey Pokey, and get ourselves in. It was pulled off the morning of an LSU/Alabama game, and it was acknowledged as a record by Guinness.

About six months ago, we got a letter from Cox telling us to come to their office and pick up some new gadgets that attach to our TIVO boxes. The letter said we would need them in order to receive new features. I dutifully went to the office, picked up the gadgets, and attached the first one to our TV.

There are many inconsiderate things that your office mates do from day to day. Perhaps you work with slobs who leave an empty coffee pot on the burner, snack from lunches left in the refrigerator, or pee on the toilet seat. But perhaps the worst offense is a seasonal one: stuffing the baby back into a king cake.

For the last few days, I've been trying to come up with something to post. But my life isn't too interesting right now. Pretty much stayed home this weekend and did nothing you would be interested in. I haven't been to the movies, haven't watched much TV, haven't stumbled on any brilliant new music, and I haven't come up with any new jokes about my poop.

One day, when I was in my early teens, I got a hankering for a hard-boiled egg. Not sure why, but that's what I wanted. Being the mollycoddled child that I was, I asked my mom to boil an egg for me. I was rebuffed.

After last night's national championship game, ESPN went to Auburn, AL, to show us live footage of the fans covering the trees of Toomer's corner with toilet paper.

If you have a little kid, you've probably suffered through little kid music. It's part of the price of raising a child. But there are degrees of bad little kid music, and I'm with you today to warn you away from the worst of the worst.