There's no way to start this story delicately. I was on the toilet. This is last Saturday. Crystal and Camilla were at the house for a short visit, and I had finished my business. We have the toilet seat add on bidets installed, so I turned the knob to give my butthole a good rinse.

We have been doing a lot of boat work, trying to get everything ready for another Summer trip. Here are a couple of the big things.

I had the most Louisiana weekend ever. I'll tell you about a crawfish boil, a rodeo staged by prisoners, and dump a ton of photos in this one.

If you can believe it, it's been a couple of years since we spent all day at a festival. Last Spring, we were away, and then this year has either been too expensive for the amount of time we could spend there (Hogs) or seemed too lame (everything in Baton Rouge).

I bet you think that you'd like to live somewhere with no crime, don't you? Some, that sounds nice, but do you revere what helpers when there are no criminals? City hall makes you the criminal.

We went to a 9:00 AM birthday party for a 2-year-old. Who handled the early wake up call worst?

There's a chain restaurant -- BJs -- and one time, quite a while back, they got my order wrong. And somehow, I've turned that very short story into a whole blog post.

I got to watch the Season 2 finale of Severance with an innie. Or at least a person who had no knowledge of the show at all. It was enjoyable.

There's an art shop in my neighborhood. Look at these cute little paintings, each with the name of a different neighborhood in the area.

If you're reading this, you probably had this cat stick his face right into your cocktail. Or stick his but right in your face. Probably both, and maybe both simultaneously.

I filled my whole back yard with the nastiest smelling packets in existence.

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, the teacher read to us in class a little bit from Harriet the Spy. But then one day before she finished, she stopped, telling us that the book was available in the library. I wanted to know what happened so badly, but I never checked it out because I thought it was a "girl's book."