Two Types of Madness

Madness 1 -- A bit of advice: If you aren't using the NCAA March Madness iphone app, you're asleep at the wheel. You can watch every game, of course. The picture is crystal clear, and you can pause the action and pick back up like it's on a DVR. You can watch highlights, box scores, or see the bracket in real time. It's a front-pager this week and next.

Madness 2: A few days ago, this somehow made it through my spam filter. I haven't seen one of these in years.

From: Barrister Nourou .S. Sent: Monday, March 14, 2011 08:25 To: Subject: Ben Schultz ATTN: Ben Schultz, I know You will be suprised to read from someone unknown to youDon't worry i will send you my vital informations and identity.I'm NOUROU Sakariyaou, Privet lawyer to Late Eng.Micheal Schultz,a national of your country; He was former Director of ORYX OIL&GAS and Major Auto dealer here in Republic of Benin . Here in after shall be referred as my client, On Friday, 26th May 2006, my client, His wife and their only daughter were involved in Benin petrol Tanker explosion incident that happened at Porga, while returning from site, all occupants of the Car unfortunately lost their lives. (You may view this site for more details of the incident) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/5016532.stm Since then I have made several inquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives but all to no avail. I am contacting you to assist in repatriating the sun of Eighteen million five hundred thousand dollars ($ 18.5 million USD) and properties left behind by my late client to your Country before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank. This deposits were lodged particularly, at the BANQUE ATLANTIQUE BENIN BAB where my deceased client has an account balance of Eighteen million five hundred thousand dollars ($ 18.5 million USD). The bank has issued me a mandate letter of ultimatum to provide my client heir or have his account confiscated as an unclaimed fund, but having been advised by my Colleague lawyers and some financial experts, I was asked to track His last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his Family to assist me make this claim and transfer the fund legally, hence I contacts you, since you shares the same last name with my late client. I hereby seek your consent to present you as a relative to my deceased client so that the Bank can transfer this fund into your Bank account, and then we will share the money equally at 50% to you and 50% me instead of aboundoning it with the Bank.I shall procure all the Necessary legal documents that can be used to back up every claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this Business through legally. Bellow is the information’s I needed from you. Your Full Names, Address, Age, Occupation, Position, Telephone and Fax for Communication Purposes I await your immediate reply ASAP. Best Regards. Me Nourou SAKARIYAOU (ESQ).

I know that I should have deleted this, but I picked it up very late at night, and decided to reply.

Me Neurou, Aahh yes, I remember uncle Eng.Michael fondly. I’m sure you think his name is odd. It is considered odd in America as well, but we often put random periods in our names. In fact, my own middle name is Bri.Applebutter, which is one of the traditional names in our family. I was last out to the Republic of Benin to visit uncle Eng.Michael and his lovely family in 2004. What a charming group! I found Benin to be a horribly hot and dry place, especially considering its dearth of liquor stores. Fortunately my cousin (Eng.Michael’s daughter Laura.Basketball) was just back from university, and she had smuggled a little bit of alcohol back in her suitcase. If I remember correctly, she had 12 bottles of Cuban rum, 24 bottles of Tennessee Bourbon, 9 bottles of Scotch, 11 bottles of tequila, and a half pound of choice marijuana. She turned out to be a little slut, but she did have the ability to put away some booze. Needless to say, we had quite a weekend! I remember warning my uncle against taking his family out to the oil tanker. There was really no reason to have his wife and daughter out there is such a dangerous area. It turns out that for some reason, they had a belief that mermaids swam below the tanker, along with giant starfish and aliens from the future. They were most convincing that it was possible (especially after indulging in the marijuana), and I was almost myself convinced to travel to the sea in order to get a look for myself. As luck would have it, I am a major stockholder in the BANQUE ATLANTIQUE. It will suit my needs quite well if you turn over my inheritance to the bank, as they suggest. Kindest personal regards, Ben

If I've received any response to this, then that response did get filtered out.

Incidentally, I have no idea where spam messages to my work email go. I have a Spam folder in my mailbox, but there are no messages there. I find it impossible to believe that I'm not getting spam at that address (other than the one above). I'll have to make a mental note to look into it.