The Door Window
March 13, 2014
The worst part about starting a new work project is getting familiar with a new office culture. Itâ€™s all over the map â€“ from the quiet, dress-shirt wearing professional building to the noisy, jeans and t-shirt wearing software shops. This month, I started a new thing at one of the quiet, professional type places.
|The door-window. I didn't have the nerve to take the picture from an angle where the woman who sits through there can see me.|
The building is a typical office building, with an elevator lobby that has doors to two or three different companies. The restrooms are also from a door in the lobby, and on my floor, the menâ€™s room is a nightmare. There are two stalls and a urinal, crammed together along one wall. One is a handicap stall, but the other is tight enough to bump each elbow on each side. If I were 25 lbs heavier, I wouldnâ€™t be able to fit back there to the urinal at all.
What makes it all the worse is that these three holes serve a whole office floor of men. At first, I was never, never, never alone in there. Iâ€™m hearing other people make the worst sounds in the world just inches away from me, while they hear me do the same.
Then, I discovered that the floor above mine is much more scarcely populated. Itâ€™s been recently renovated. There are still paint patches on the walls, and the air still smells like new carpet. Best of all, the menâ€™s room was always empty.
Itâ€™s true that everything is a tradeoff. I found my empty menâ€™s room, but at the cost of having the lady behind this door give me the stink-eye every day. I appear in her window from her right â€“ where the only door is the one to the stairwell, and then she sees me walk away from her and into the menâ€™s room. Then, weâ€™re face-to-face through her door window as I walk back.
Her expression is always far from friendly.
Yesterday, as I was coming out, in came the guy who sits at the desk next to me one floor below. His face (and Iâ€™m sure mine too) was priceless â€“ the shock of being discovered dashing in for an illicit poo.