Hey

This morning, K woke up with a loud, "HEY!"

Scared the shit out of me, even though I was already awake.

Before I reacted, he continued.

"WHO MESSED WITH MY PANKAKES?"

"You were dreaming little dude. There are no pancakes."

"NO. THOSE PANCAKES I WAS MAKING! WHO MESSED THEM UP?"

"Ummmm, must have been Mama."

Totally unrelated: Last weekend, while no one else was home, I went in to take a poo. Just as soon as the load started to emerge, I hear the jiggle jiggle jiggle of the door, and then K is in there with me.

I wasn't in the mood.

"Kolya, can you just go in the other room and leave me alone?"

"YOU NEED PRIVACY?"

"Yes. Yes, exactly. Privacy is just what I need."

He opened up the cabinet under the sink, pulled out a couple of tampons, and brought them over to me.

"What's with those?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"THOSE ARE PRIVACIES."

"No baby, privacy just means I want to be by myself."

"NO, THESE ARE PRIVACIES. MAMA USES THESE."

I guess he noticed that when Mama gets those out, she sites privacy before kicking him out of the bathroom, so he thought I was doing the privacy thing all wrong.

Smart kid.