AFor the first time in many years, we went on Summer vacation without taking the helm of a sailboat. Instead, I took the helm of the motor van San Clemente< for a tour of the Pacific Northwest. We started out north of Seattle, ferried through the San Juan Islands of Washington, crossed over the Vancouver island in Canada. From there, we crossed British Columbia and visited several Canadian National Parks in their Rocky Mountain range. Finally, we circled back into Washington for a few days before heading home.

My sister recently left a job where she worked for a real nut. Their business was butt wipes. Pretty simple. Below is the text from an email that boss man sent the advertising agency describing a commercial he wanted to make. All wording and grammer are exactly as he sent them, with the excitation that I've replaced the brand name with blanks.

We had something at the house that would lead you to believe that we live in squalor.

We are driving to school. Close to being able to drop V off. We've been side by side in the car for almost an hour, and we're still flipping through radio channels, trying to find some decent tunes that we aren't tired of. For the 6th or 7th time in the hour, we land on the hip-hop oldies channel. It's "Banned in The U.S.A" by 2 Live Crew. We keep it on.

This whole post is just one line....

At one of the offices I visit for work, there are these filing cabinets, which have stood ajar for close to a year. Handwritten signs forbid closing them. I close inspection shows that the keys are in the locks. I can't figure out why they need to stay open. If I were an employee there, I would be bitchy about how trashy it all looks, but as a contractor, I don't feel like it represents me in any way.

A thought I had about the days in the Easter season, plus one of those observations that kids make.

Twofer post: a little scene that played out and confused me, plus a little contest that I thought of regarding band names.

Someone pulled off a good one on the whole skinnyonbenny family, and we don't even know who did it.

Perhaps today marks the end of a free press, the end of US participation in NATO, and open season for pussy grabbing. But then again, maybe it won't be quite that bad. Here are some reasons to be happy about where we are.

The Louisiana Marathon — or as it's officially known in my skull, the Louisiana Marathon of Mimosa Consumption — was Sunday. I got up early and hauled a small tailgate party's worth of chairs, tables, and music out into the driveway so that I could collapse exhaustedly into my chair and nurse my breakfast alcohol as healthy people who had already run 23 miles (23!) that morning passed.

On Christmas morning, I went in for my morning deuce, and found that there was about three squares of toilet paper left on the roll. I had been in both of the other bathrooms the day before, and I knew that this was the extent of toilet paper in our house.