Content created by Tyler Cummings from 2005 - 2008. A truer poet there never was.

Sushi Cravings

February 09, 2005

Sushi sounds good, but,
Sushi and a cheap hooker
Sound even better.

Four days of Mardi Gras

February 09, 2005

Urine in the streets
Drunks, pick-pockets, vomit, trash.
I love Mardi Gras


February 09, 2005

Often times I think,
It might be fun to be gay.
But no, not really.

Tuesday and Friday

February 23, 2005

Trash men have it good.
They work really hard, but gosh,
All of that free trash!

Ode to Toni (An APPRO Employee)

February 25, 2005

Server nine is down!
Jesus H. Christ allmighty!!
Server nine is down!


February 25, 2005

There's no place like home...
Damn, these shoes are fucking gay.
There's no place like home...


March 09, 2005

If I were a bird,
I'd find all my old bosses,
And shit on their heads.

Chicken Mc Nuggets

April 01, 2005

Nuggets are always...
Shaped like Louisiana,
Miss., Bama, or eggs.

Websites Aren't Free

April 15, 2005

I found a penny,
I will give it to Benny,
To run the skinny.

Gas Prices

April 21, 2005

Everyone is mad,
because gas prices are high.
But what about milk?


April 21, 2005

Bombs and Butterflies
are completely different.
I mean, what's the deal?

Kid Jesus

April 21, 2005

When Jesus was small,
If kids tried to mess with him...
I bet God killed them.


April 27, 2005

If I were a duck,
And I was shot in the face,
Would my bill spin round'?

Worms n' Peaches

April 27, 2005

If I were a worm,
I'd go after a peach, Cause
Come on, screw apples.

Worms n' Peaches

April 27, 2005

If I were a worm,
I'd go after a peach, Cause
Come on, screw apples.

More bills than I could shake a stick at.

May 10, 2005

Ughh, so many bills.
I could not possibly shake
a stick at them all.

Happy Birthday Pac-Man

May 10, 2005

It's the big 2-5,
Many a dot you've eaten.
Tell the Mrs. Hi.

Summer time in Louisiana

June 22, 2005

It's fucking hot as shit here.

Jesus n' Beer

July 05, 2005

Carpenters love Beer.
Jesus was a carpenter.
You figure it out.

I'm still alive...

August 31, 2005

Blanco is a dolt.
Those poor bastards in N.O.
I'm going looting.

Prey Harder!!

August 31, 2005

Blanco, buy a clue.
Maybe if you prey harder,
N.O. will dry up.

Screw off Rita

September 20, 2005

You're a dirty whore,
Take you're shit on to Texas,
We don't want no more.

Ben's Tailgating Beans

October 18, 2005

Beans are yummy, but,
An explosion in my pants
Is not all that fun.

Piss off Saints (and Tom Benson)

October 25, 2005

The Saints fucking suck.
Go to San Antonio,
So you can suck there.


November 29, 2005

Indians can have
A dot on their forehead, or,
Headband and feather.

Baby Shoes

May 03, 2006

Them baby shizzoes.
What I really want to know:
Where to get em' cheap?

Strep Throat

May 23, 2006

Strep throat is bad, but,
driving through Mississippi,
with strep throat is worse.

Santas not that Cool

December 27, 2006

Santa ain't got shit
On that cool motherfucker,
The Easter Bunny.

Stuck (A tribute to Northwest Airlines)

February 01, 2007

Stuck in the Airport.
Those fucking motherfuckers.
Northwest Airlines blows.


March 21, 2007

Ivan is the Man!
He and Tyler can hang out,
And pick up hot chicks.


May 02, 2008

Boomerangs are fun!
Hey, look at that big ass bird!
OUCH, hey, what the fuck!?!?