Why I Should Learn to Keep My Mouth Shut

November 30, 2006

There's a reason that I shouldn't have conversations with Tyler. At least not in front of other people.

One day, right before Thanksgiving, we rode down to Best Buy during lunch. He put in an order for something boring, and while we were waiting for the paperwork to be completed, he started to talk to the sales girl. Somehow, it came up that he had some sort of surgery scheduled for his eyeballs. I would screw up the specifics, but it wasn't an elective, corrective type of thing that people have become familiar and comfortable about.

When we were leaving, the sales girl wished him well with the procedure.


It's funny how much sympathy you get from strangers when they hear about the surgery. I was at a bar the other night explaining it to someone else, and a girl I never met went all into sympathy mode.


You should have told her something like, "I'm much less likely to go blind if I have sexual intercourse today. Unfortunately, I have no propsects yet.

Me: Oops.
I added the "oops," because that's when I noticed a little old woman walking right in front of me. I hadn't noticed her until her attempt to get a sly look at the vulger guy behind her (me). She was short and really old, and my brain completely failed to register that she was there.

I made a quick move to get around her, trying to get completely in front of her as quickly as possible, and then left the store.

Then today, there was this conversation at work:


Did <Bank Name> actually call and asked that the releases not be called "Builds?"


<unintelligible answer>


That reminds me. Back in the day, I called Nintendo and asked that they not be called "cartridges."


YOU DID???!?!!!


Um. No.

Me: What was the funnier part of that -- the joke or that I actually believed it? Tyler: They're about equal.