This Post About Gamecocks Has Nothing to do With Steve Spurrier
May 08, 2013
If you're one of those people who follow three people, and one of those people is me, you probably noticed a couple of recent tweets about 1st grade homework.
1st grade homework: write sentence using "mother". My suggestion, "I hate these mother fucking sentences." was rejected by my 1st grader.— Ben Schultz (@bens4lsu) April 24, 2013
Rejected 1st grade homework answer today (sentence using MUST): "Papa must go to the pooper."— Ben Schultz (@bens4lsu) April 30, 2013
I think V's teacher might be onto me too, because yesterday, his assignment was to think of words ending in -ick, -ack, -uck, and -ock, and then draw pictures of those words.
Are you putting me on?
I was a model of restraint, suggesting only the cleanest of the four off-color words that popped immediately to mind. I suggested "buttcrack" for the -ack word. It got my desired laugh while the head shook no.
(And really, it's only the fact that the boy has the sense to reject my suggestions that makes me free to make them in the first place.)
But then, trying to think of his -ock word, V came up with "cock" all on his own.
"Well, that's a word."
"What is it?"
He wrote it down (initially spelling it "kock"; how very Russian), and drew a picture. His picture didn't look much like a rooster, but it looked more like a rooster than it did the anatomical version of the word.
I fully expect next week's assignment to include thinking of words ending in -itties, -unthair, and -ocksucker.