The Worst Copywriter In History
May 19, 2017
My sister recently left a job where she worked for a real nut. Their business was butt wipes. Pretty simple.
Below is the text from an email that boss man sent the advertising agency describing a commercial he wanted to make. All wording and grammer are exactly as he sent them, with the excitation that I've replaced the brand name with blanks.
You MUST BE OVER 18 TO SEE THIS VIDEO
Contains Some Nudity
R U Clean R Not? Sponsor bob butt wipes logo
If you like our product or video please like and share
Picture : Hot naked Girls and Guys with private parts blurred .
Speech: would you want to be with these hottes if they don't use Bobs because this is what they look like below.
Picture : dirty skid mark under wear. and clean under wear.
No _____. toilet paper only. They use ____
speech: if you are not using wipes your not clean!
Speech : you don't take a bath with out water!
Picture show a picture of a guy and Girl blur their private parts, dirty all over in a empty tubs wiping themselves with a dry towel separated shots
Speech : Guy saying I almost done just another 20 minutes and the girl saying about 30 for me.
Seen 4 :
Speech: if you your using wipes you need to be using _____
Picture : picture of a guy with a construction belt, topless sweetie holding the Bobs dispenser wiping himself off
Speech : Because _____ has a conveniently locate dispenser that hangs on any toilet paper holder and you don't need to be a handy man to install it.
Picture : show a my little cousin sammy 6 years old installing the dispenser and saying
Speech :Sammy: if I can do it anyone can do it!
Picture: show a person outside and a bird dropping shit on a person hand.
Picture: wipe bird crap with a dry rag.
Speech: would you wipe bird crap with a dry rag or would you use water? Then why are you using just toilet paper?
speech: Our wipes are all natural biodegradable wipes with Aloe. To make your your skin cool, clean and comfortable, also good for your septic and the environment. Please like and share.