The Day Ted Nugent Killed All the Animals

October 29, 2004

Does anyone besides me like that song, The Day Ted Nugent Killed All the Animals? The IPOD picked that song for me while I walked the dog last night. It got me thinking that someone could go out and put out a whole page explaining the cultural references in that tune. I'll go ahead and do it myself.

You'll have to find this song somewhere else. Your browswer won't allow embedded media. Sorry. 

Ted Nugent, also referred to as the Motor City Madman:

Except for you youngsters, you will remember Ted Nugent as a hard rock singer from the 70s. When I first heard this song, I just figured that they picked a random, former celebrity to make fun of. But a year or two later, I read this article in Ouside Magazine, and as it turns out, Ted is now famous for killing animals. Who knew? This article might be hard to read from the web browser, but I really enjoyed it.

Greenpeace activists were crying in their hankies...

Greenpeace is an animal rights activist group, most famous for buying boats and disrupting whaling ships in the late 80s.

...the first record by Damn Yankees:

Damn Yankees was a bad hard rock band in the 80s, or possibly in the early 90s. As I recall, they had the good fortune to release an album during a phase where absolutely no new music was any good at all. Thus, they achieved some level of popularity, even though they only produced crap.

Cat...Scratch Fever:

Cat Scratch Fever was Ted Nugent's biggest hit. I'm old enough to remember this being a popular radio hit. I was a youngster, and found it disturbing for some reason. To this day, I don't find it to be very good.

Bob Barker cried...

Today we all know Bob Barker, but for the benefit of those reading this years from now (let's face it, Bob is on his last legs), Bob is the host of The Price is Right. TPIR is by far the best daytime game show on TV. It has been on my whole life, and I've always enjoyed it. I have to admit scheduling classes in college so that my lunch would coincide with TPIR. For a while, I knew the prices of all of the cheap things that they used in the games, and to this day, I remember that Klondike bars were priced at $2.99 on TPIR in the 1993 timeframe. If I had gone on that show at about that time, I would have kicked serious ass.

In this song, Bob cried because he is famous as an animal lover. The phrase, "have your pets spayed or neutered," will always be associated with Bob.

Rikki Lake tried...

Rikki Lake has almost slipped from fame altogether. She was one of about a million people to get a talk show in a single splash, after TV execs decided there was room for more than just Phil Donahue and Oprah Winfrey.

I suppose she must have made the news for animal activism at some point, but I don't really remember that. She's certain to turn up on celebrity boxing or some celeb-reality show any time now, in a last ditch effort to stay famous.

Michigan Militia:

A famous group of anti-government, gun-loving, kooks. They had a newsworthy run in with the law once upon a time, but I don't remember the details. The far right wingers among you will be glad to know that they're still running string. if you're interested.

Fred Bear:

I didn't know this one, but I just looked it up, and he was an archer of renown, and has a line of equipment named after him. The best (and briefest) biographical information I found is here.

...chasing Bambi's Mom with a knife:

Can you guys imagine them making a Disney movie today where the lead mother -- a typical loving, nurturing character -- gets shot by a hunter? It's a little hard to imagine that even being okayed by Walt and the boys back whenever it was that Bambi was made. I'm sure every deer hunter has been asked about shooting Bambi's mother.

I would love to share a personal tale of my own trauma from the shooting Bambi's mother, but I never saw the movie until I was old enough that killing a cartoon deer didn't bother me too much.

Squirrels...yum...kill 'em:

I can't believe that I haven't mentioned this in an entry yet, but a couple of weeks ago, I read an article about the popularity of squirrel hunting in Ville Platte, Louisiana. Apparently, there were so many kids who missed school the Friday before squirrel season opened, that they finally just made it a school holiday.

What made this mentionable was the source. The article was on the front page of The New York Times. The front page. On Sunday. Wow.

Wang Dang, that orangutan:

No cultural reference here, but the line was worth putting into writing. I've listened to this a zillion times, and I still laugh when I hear this.