Some Embarassing Things That Happened Last Week

May 29, 2008

First of all, let me explain the comment on that last post.

I was leaving the preschool parking lot, when PabloHoney (who I like to call Sharples) was pulling into the lot to drop off his kid. I had the top down on the Jeep, and his window was down, so he stuck a fully extended arm way out of his window, and started giving me the finger.

He held the gesture in place as I pulled into the street, and then, as our cars were as close as they would pass, he yelled, "YOU SUCK!"

Four or five minutes later, I answered the phone, and he told me that Vanya's teacher was outside the door to witness the whole thing.

I'm not sure if this is coincidental, but they decided to move Vanya up to the next class, which puts him in a different building than Sharple's baby.

"Have you looked at the schedule on the usta web site?"

"Web site? There's a web site?"

"Yeah, all of our information is out there for anyone to see."

"By 'all of our information', you mean all of our tennis stats, right? Not things like the picture of me wearing Cathy Michaels' panties back from college, I hope."

In other embarassment-meets swimwear news, there's this from Saturday:

Mrs. theskinnyonbenny took the toddler for a paddle in the kayaks. She reluctantly wore a life jacket -- at my strong suggesting -- in case the kid rocked the boat to the point where it was upside down. I've never actually witnessed anyone accidentally tump a kayak in placid, protected water, but it happens.

They were having fun, so after a short while, I grabbed the second kayak and rushed out to join them. We splashed through the water for a little while longer, and then Mrs. theskinnyonbenny returned to dock to end her trip.

One of my parents lifted Vanya out of her lap, and then she tried to rise. The boat got wobbly, so she lowered herself, adjusted her leg position, and tried again.

"Hang on. Stand up like this," I instructed. I then I started to demonstrate the proper way to get from a kayak to a deck that's higher than you are.

Except that 2 seconds into my demonstration, my kayak went quickly and completely upside down. With barely enough warning to take a breath, I found myself under water, the upside-down boat floating carelessly above my head.

I popped out of the water, and Vanay was pointing at my bobbing head, saying, "uh-ohhhh." He repeated it several times to make sure someone noticed that I had gone from boating to swimming.

A neighbor heard the commotion and walked over to see who was wet too. But at least it wasn't too public of a setting.