Questions for the Bald Guy
August 06, 2004
The novelty of me shaving my head has finally worn off. My hair actually grows back quite quickly. It's hard to keep a good Charlie Brown look going. As you might imagine, showing up after lunch with your mane lopped off leads to some good reactions. I wish I had thought to set up the video camera to catch the expressions of passes by.
When you show up with no hair, everyone's a comedian. Some questions are good, and some are bad. The comparisons to other bald people are mostly pretty good. (More on that in a day or two. Look for a new page.)
Here are the questions that I'm asked most commonly.
|That there's one ugly son of a gun.|
- Why did you do that ?
I know that what you really mean is that I look a lot uglier now. Yes, I was really good looking with a full head of hair, but heck, there's no harm in letting some of the other guys get some attention once in a while.
What I get in the trade off for my good looks is air conditioning. My head was hot. Damned hot. Miserable hot. A walk outside for an hour felt like an all day trek through Mexico. Just sitting inside in the air conditioning was hot. It was awful.
One more thing: I'm not the one that has to see my ugly cranium. I catch a mirror only a couple of times a day. It's the rest of you who notice my looks.
- So is it cooler now? Yes, honestly, it really is. Not only is it cooler, it's just generally comfortable. It's fun to rub a bald head, or to slap it a little, like Curly from the Three Stooges.
- Did your wife know? I've been threatening to shave my head for years. I'm pretty sure that I was well past the point where she really thought I would do it, but then again, I don't think that it was a total shock. She knows me pretty well.
- So what did she say? I remember it something like this...
- Did you lose a bet? Um, yeah, I heard that one already. About 60,000 times, as a matter of fact. You really aren't funny, if that's what you came up with. The funnier variety was, "Who won the bet," which was actually amusing the first 3 or 4 times. Well, maybe the first 2 or 3. The question that I ask myself is, "where did you get that big dent in your skull?" I've got a indentation not unlike a shallow tire tread just north of my right temple. If anyone reading this remembers bashing my soft noggin into a shelf when I was a baby being carried, then go ahead and fess up.
Mrs.: [Nervous laughter]...put it [my hat] back on. You look like a freak. Me: Wanna feel it? Mrs.: [More laughing]NOO! Get away from me, freak!