My Tattoo

November 01, 2005

Well, that snapshot of my own butt in my last post got me more feedback than anything since I described my argument with a four-year old. It reminds me that I told a story last week where my butt was a central figure. Fear not; this post is not illustrated.


When my nephew was around 6 or so, someone dropped off some wet and stick on tattoos for him. He wasn't around when they were received, so I decided to take one of the tattoos and put it on an ass cheek.

The idea was that when he came to proudly show off his new tattoo, I could say, "Wow, I have one just like that!" Then, I could drop my pants and get a big laugh. Everyone knows that six year old boys (and I) find butt cheeks amazingly funny.

Mrs. theskinnyonbenny bought into this fun little prank, and agreed to administer the tattoo to my butt.

All of this occurred while vacationing with my family. We were in some smallish beach condo somewhere or other, so we went in a bathroom to apply the tattoo.

Just as I had my shorts around my ankles, and Mrs. theskinnyonbenny had her face right in my butt, the bathroom door opened. I turned around to see my dad, who immediately stammered an "Excuse me" and shut the door very quickly.

Let's pause to consider what sort of perverted scene he thought he walked into. I can't even imagine. I mean, I know that there are married couples who like to spice it up with really weird twists, but

As I recall, we had only been back to the condo for five minutes or so, so the imagined scenario had to include the fact that we just couldn't wait to stick something on/in my butt while we were out. Was I particularly squirmy at dinner? Did my attention wander?

Later, the intended joke went over swimmingly.

I bet I'm a fun uncle to have.