More APPRO Christmas Ridicule
December 27, 2004
I would like to start by wishing all of my readers a very Merry Christmas and best wishes for the New Year. It was a good holiday for the theskinnyonbenny family, and I sincerely hope it was good for all of you.
And now that the obligatory seasonal good cheer is out of the way, let's continue to make fun of my coworkers. Oh yes, it didn't take long after my last post to get an email with the other groups who had to take those photos. I was too just busy cooking and herding people through my house to cut out images and make up captions. Let us proceed....
There are three teams of people who we haven't already covered. I know you can't see their pictures too clearly, but I'm not guessing that's really what you want to see anyway. I have them listed from best picture to worst.
It was actually tough to make fun of the group at the top. They took such a good photo that I had trouble thinking of anything that was anything other than just personal insults, and I didn't want to go there. Fortunately for me, the photos got worse, giving us plenty to discuss.|
One thing that jumps out at you in the first picture is another incorrect name. This one is actually funnier, because the name on here is the name of a guy who hasn't worked here in months. I don't know anything about the real Brad Creech, but my idea was to find a head that looked similar to his and paste it into the picture. For the sake of the misnamed's privacy, I'll leave him unidentified.|
"All the girls tell me that the black turtleneck has a slimming effect."|
This is the left part of the picture from the second group. It may look like poor photography, but in fact, the photographer deftly hid the gaping, empty eyeball socket that the guy in the background sports like a badge of honor. We don't know why he won't put a patch over the scabby hole. It makes him very difficult to work with.|
There's a new shop across the street from our office that gives something that they call the "Celebrity Makeover." The lady on the left just had the Halle Berry makeover done about a month ago. (They did a really good job; she started as a short white lady.)
The guy on the right had the Steven Segal special just last week. I'm not sure why they went through all of that trouble and expense only to hide in the back row.|
This lad's mother is the only one from the third group who got the note about school picture day.|
This lady is a little bit unstable. I think her thoughts are something like, "Look away....look away....if I don't make eye contact with the clients receiving this email, maybe they won't try to talk to me...."|
This is obviously the most blue-collar of the teams that support our clients.
The man just rebuilt a carburetor before rinsing off and coming in for the photo.
The lady is a programming wiz, and can fix whatever software is broken, as long as she isn't busy cleaning up chicken poop or slopping the hogs.|
For some reason, these guys got their picture taken at a lower resolution than the rest of us. Look at these two faces, magnified to the size you see on this page, but not otherwise altered from the original photograph. The clients who received thise have to wonder if they got assigned the team made up primarily of severe burn victims.
I never realized before that pixelization could look so much like scarring.|
All right, guys, I've had my fun. Let's see you use the comments for some self-defense. Or make up your own page and I'll give you a link.