Such a Loosely Bound Collection of Crap, That I Can't Think of a Title

June 28, 2006

I feel bad for little Blossom.

Blossom is getting too big for some of her favorite spots.

Last night, Lili detected some creature in one of our bushes, and did her beagle bark (BARROOOOOOOOOOO!!!) for about fifteen minutes. I dragged her into the house, but she just went back out the door and started up again. Blossom is her faithful sidekick, and hung out outside with the crazy beagle.

After my one warning trip outside, Lili got stuffed into the garage to spend the night. Ever-loyal, Blossom went in with her to stay as well.

This wouldn't make me feel bad by itself, but little do they know that tonight they will be spending the night in a kennel at the vet's office. And the next two nights after that. To top it off, Blossom is getting her belly opened and her reproductive system removed tomorrow night. So really, she wouldn't have wanted to spend the night on the garage floor had she known all of that.

I imagine that some of you will think I'm a real jerk. Especially those who heard only my side of a conversation with Mrs. theskinnyonbenny yesterday.

(General Greetings, etc.) ... "Well, okay, but you can't be in my way. You'll have to sit out back with the dogs." ... "A couple of hours." ... "Well, hey, you're the one crimping my style."

I don't sound like quite the a-hole when you see the whole conversation:

"I think I'm going to skip my thing tonight and just come home. But will you still mop the floors like you said you would?" "Well, okay, but you can't be in my way. You'll have to sit out back with the dogs." "How long will I have to stay back there?" "A couple of hours." "Hours!!?? Maybe I'll just go somewhere else then." "Well, hey, you're the one crimping my style."

See? I'm not the bastard that I seemed to be. And I did mop the floors, followed by a coat of polish. The couple of hours included both steps, plus drying time.

That's the kind of thing that I do in those stretches where I don't post for a long while. In addition to writing a decent blog (and pimping myself for links from other bloggers), here are the hobbies that I would choose if I had more time on my hands.

  • I would learn to tie really cool knots. Monkey's fists and Turks heads and the like. I've seen rope tied into big boat fenders. People who figure that stuff out can do some really, really cool things.
  • Play video games. Yeah, I'm a nerd, but if I had a lot more free time and money, I would be whipping up on you nerds on the XBox.
  • I've probably mentioned that I like to make up stupid little songs, often juvenile in nature. You might not know that I have a ukulele so that I could learn to give myself some musical accompaniment. But I've never taken the time to learn the first chord. One day, perhaps. The biggest problem here is that I need to find someone to show me how to tune it first. And I'm too ashamed to go around asking, "Anyone know how to tune a ukulele?"
  • I would get good at golf, but in secret. I would still let everyone think that I don't play at all, but then when it came time to be dragged into an unwanted game, I would be sensational. And then, I would be like, "What, this is hard for you? I guess I'm just a natural."
  • I would get good at crossword puzzles. I like to solve hard puzzles, and it makes me feel smart to solve a whole block of clues. Unfortunately, I'm nowhere near good enough to solve a whole, difficult puzzle. Easy puzzles don't interest me, and I'm not good enough for the hard ones.
  • I would take up fishing. I go once in a while, but I would actually learn good spots to go, what kind of lures to use, and buy a nice boat to fish from. If I had more time. And more money. Which I don't.

We're about to embark on a long weekend trip, so this is probably my last post this week. I should have something or other to relate about the trip when I get back.