In Defense of My Sexuality

September 05, 2014

Guess how many hours I've spent tracking down and looking at the trove of celeb naked pictures this week?

100 hours?



  1. Zero. Haven't checked.

My liberal, holier-than-thou bit of my brain says it's because these are private pictures, and it's invasive and wrong for me to look.

But that isn't the whole story. When an athlete dong pic comes out, I can't click the mouse fast enough.

What gives?

No. Not gay. That's always a person's first answer. Why is it that the assumption is that only doctors and homosexuals can view a strangers penis without cringing in disgust?

Here are my thoughts on it all.

  • Dongs are funny. Naked women are titillating (pardon the pun). Looking at pictures to get a laugh feels less creepy than looking at pictures to get a boner.
  • On the athlete pics, they're people where I know who they are. While I'm sure the celebrities that I've seen listed are quite famous, their names mostly mean nothing to me.
  • Aren't a lot of these naked pics of really young women? I know eighteen is legal, but I'm of an age where looking at naked eighteen year old girls would rightly make me feel like a dirty old man. It won't be long before the little girl children of my friends who I carried around as babies will be that old. God help parents of daughters.

With those excuses in mind, give yourself a treat by following this link to see Brett Favre's wiener.