I Wonder What Part Turned Into Corn on the Cob

June 07, 2011

On Sunday morning, I found myself in a half-awake, half-asleep dream. The premise of the dream was that somehow over the years, the traditions associated with Easter and the ones associated with Thanksgiving had become confused. And so I could see it clearly, I was there at Christ's crucifixion.

What actually happened wasn't as it's spelled out in the gospels. Actually, Jesus's dead body was laid on a table, and it began changing into a Thanksgiving feast. Some attendees started praying, while I and others of my ilk (not sure what my role was, exactly) started to eat. I might have even wondered who the Lions were playing.

But that's not even the weirdest part.

The weirdest part is that while I was there (in dreamland) and I could see what was happening, I was also either hearing or making up a narration of the events. And this narration was all in rhyming couplets.

I probably had dozens of rhymes describing the scene, and I was repeating them over and over in my head to try to make myself remember. This had something to do with the awake side of my head, because I was definitely thinking of theskinnyonbenny.com as a logical place to publish a lengthy poem about dead Jesus turning into Thanksgiving food.

When I did wake up, all of that creative energy got sucked into the ether. I remember just one couplet:

Some had fallen to their knees, confessing While his intestines turned into a savory dressing.

I'm certain that you share my disappointment the fact that some sacrilege and humor is lost to the world forever.