I Guess I'll Go Clean the Yard Now

January 21, 2010

Sunday night, I went outside to feed Blossom, and as I reached for her bowl, I stepped in a pile of dog poo.

I hit a big pile, and my foot landed on it so squarely that it sunk down into the poo, surrounding the bottom edge of the shoe, and threatening to suck it off of my foot as I tried to raise my leg.

After I poured the dog food and extricated myself from the pile, I started trying to clean off the huge patty stuck to the bottom of the shoe.

I started by trying to fling off big chunks into the bushes. I would go through a throwing motion, but stopping the shoe suddenly so that the inertia would carry the unsuspecting poo into the leaves. It wasn't really working, and on the third fling, I lost my grip on the whole shoe, and it went flying into the bushes.

So I walked down the steps, and started peering into the darkness around the bottom of the bushes. I was sort of sifting through the dark and the leaves, and I found the shoe. Amazingly, I did it without touching the poop on the bottom.

But my triumph was short-lived, as a millisecond later I put my stocking-foot square into yet another dog turd.