Howling at the Moon

January 25, 2011

For the last few days, I've been trying to come up with something to post. But my life isn't too interesting right now. Pretty much stayed home this weekend and did nothing you would be interested in. I haven't been to the movies, haven't watched much TV, haven't stumbled on any brilliant new music, and I haven't come up with any new jokes about my poop.

Then, I stumbled on a tweet from, that said, "Amazing Amazon customer reviews for the Snooki book:

I started looking at those reviews, which made me chuckle, but which also made me thing, those aren't as good as the reviews for

the Amazon wolf shirt

. If you haven't read the reviews on Amazon about the wolf shirt, or if you haven't read them lately, stop what you're doing and go read now. It will certainly be more entertaining than the rest of this blog post.

And then that reminded me that I actually saw a guy wearing the shirt. It was on our Las Vegas trip last summer. I posted pics, but I hadn't really told stories. What happens in Vegas makes me love you long time. Or something like that.

Anyway, there was a guy who joined me in the elevator, and he was actually wearing the Amazon wolf shirt. I wanted to take a picture so much, but he looked like a Native American, and I did a quick estimation and come up with a 94% chance that the guy was an actual werewolf. So I didn't fuck with him.

I also saw a completely different guy by the pool who tried Chad Ochocinco's trick from the previous fall's Hard Knocks (remember, this was in the summer, before the Jets' Hard Knocks run). Ochocinco advised the viewers to ask an attractive girl to borrow her phone. Then, you call your own phone, and after that, you have her number and can put the moves on her via text message. Maybe that works for the rich and famous, but for one guy by the pool this summer, it didn't go so well.

"Hey, my phone batter died. Can I borrow your phone for a minute?"

(He was with three other dudes and didn't try to find an explanation for why they didn't have usable phones)

"Uh, no. I'm not comfortable with that."

(He should have aborted the mission right there.)

"Come on. I just need to make a quick call. It's local."

"Get out of here before I call security."

For a minute, I wished I was in their group, so that I could give the kid shit all night.