Garlic, a Haiku, and a Welcome Message

I used to go to DeAngelo's for lunch a lot. Invariably, Mrs. theskinnyonbenny would complain about my reeking of garlic after I would eat there.

I got tired of hearing about my stench, but not tired enough to give up those delicious calzones altogether. One day after lunch at DeAngelo's, I waited until after work and then went to the gym. I spent 45 minutes on a stair climber, drenching myself with sweat. I followed that with a long shower, and then brushed my teeth. I even went as far as to change into clean clothes.

I drove home and got greeted with, "Uuugh. You ate garlic at lunch again."

I had gotten out of the habit of going there for lunch, and I can't say how long it's actually been. It had probably been a year or more until I went there this Wednesday.

When I met Mrs. theskinnyonbenny after work, she immediately accused me of eating garlic for lunch. I couldn't help but laugh and confirm it.

Later at dinner, she liked the look of my sandwich and asked for a bite. According to her -- and this is only a little bit tough to believe -- she could smell the garlic from my lunch attached to my dinnertime sandwich. Soaked into the bread, or something, I guess.

If this is the grossest thing that you know about me, consider yourself lucky.

Timmy B. sent me an awesome haiku earlier this week:

New Metamucil With nitrous oxide gives you More shits and giggles

I don't look at my site stats very much, but one night this week, Dancing with the Stars was on the TV, and I got bored. It crossed my mind to check out my stats.

The overwhelming majority of people who found there way here through search engine results searched the phrase "Too Much Masturbation," which took them to this old post. (I don't know how. I have no success finding myself while searching on this phrase, but I don't know what search engines they're using either.)

Anyway, I just wanted to take this opportunity to welcome any new readers who stumbled here while seeking to find out whether their dick was fixing to fall off because they masturbate three times a day.

And guys, I'm 35 now, and my dick is still attached, if that's worth anything to you.