Feedback from the Tailgate Party

I mentioned in my post about tailgating on Saturday that there were a couple of little stories that I would add later in the week.

First, I want to elaborate on Shelly's request for text messaged scores while she was in Tiger stadium. She didn't say it explicitly, but clearly, she was looking for USC vs. Notre Dame updates. What she got was this series of messages, copied and pasted dirctly from my phone.

Me (10/15 13:53):
Bowling Green 14
Buffalo 7

Me (10/15 13:56):
Yale 14
Leihigh 6

Me (10/15 14:00):
Princeton 28
Brown 24

Me (10/15 14:05): Another TD for Yale: 21-6

Me (10/15 14:14): Toledo and Ball State have kicked off!!

Shelly Williams (10/15 14:23): You suck

Shelly Williams (10/15 14:27): Fuck off

Stacie was sending a similar set of scores simultaneously. I thought the whole exchange was amusing.

My other story starts with this email from Steve, sent Sunday after the tailgate.

is this a haiku or just a poem?

can't sleep
it's 2 AM
ben's beans gave me bad gas

did you put extra fart juice in those beans? I'm curious to see if others had the same reaction because, if so, you could have solved our looming energy crisis. I could have powered my car for a week on the gas I have created in the last few hours.

poor jodie.

First of all, that isn't a haiku. I'm hard pressed to call it a poem, but I suppose whatever lyric your muse inspires you to create has to be considered poetry. And I'm glad that my beans were so inspiring.

To the main point, I did a survey over the past few days, and it seems pretty conclusive that there was additional fart juice in the jeans. I didn't "put" the extra fart juice there, but it appears clear that it was there somehow. In fact, everyone asked -- other than Mrs. theskinnyonbenny -- admited to getting gas on or shortly after Saturday.

(Mrs. theskinnyonbenny just said, "No, I didn't have guess, but your beans weren't good.")

My own personal gas started while we were still on campus. Beer has the same effect on me, so I had an explosive situation in my intestines by the time we were picking up to leave. In fact, it lead to a pretty difficult situation for me, as the restroom in the music building had been closed by then. I won't go into any details, in case I have a future potential employer who googles me and find his way here.