Contest

I tore this feature out of the corner of the paper last week. It struck me as unusual. If it ran again this week, I didn't see it.

I've been trying for a week to think of something that would be outrageous enough to amuse, yet still be published. I haven't really thought of anything that was all that good, but I feel compelled to submit a false problem anyway.

This morning, I emailed respond@theadvocate.com this submission.

I'm sick and tired of "Hawaiian shirt day" at the office. Who do these fat nobodies think they're kidding? People who look entirely presentable Monday through Thursday come to work looking like unemployed beatniks every Friday, just because the boss wants to wear his own Hawaiian shirt. I refuse to participate, and of course, I get made fun of every week. You guys want to make fun of someone? Go look in a mirror. Steve Helmke Equifax, Inc. 37

Here's your challenge: Send your own submission to The Advocate. Blind-copy me on your submission. For the first submitter who gets published, I'll buy drinks. For the most outrageous submitter who gets published, I'll buy drinks again.