Christmas Newsletters

December 22, 2005

I started to make up a phony version of one of those photocopied Christmas mailings that you get from people this time of year. The idea was that I could make a big deal out of everyday, mundane shit that happens to everyone, and it would be funny.

The problem is that when I tried to write out the everyday, mundane shit, it ends up reading exactly like the ones that people really send. For example,


Sally is very excited to be driving around town in her new Hyundai Sonata!

or this...

We can't believe how many LSU games we get on TV all the way up here in Shreveport!!!


Jim received a well deserved promotion this year. He is now a senior assistant human resources coordinator!! Can you believe our good fortune!!

Sure, I can put an excessive amount of exclamation points, but the real newsletter senders pretty much have that style cornered as well. On a related note, I did have my own little Christmas miracle last night. I was walking the dog, trying to think through how I could make this fake newsletter work. And out of the thousands and thousands of songs on my IPOD, this one came up at random. Listen to the lyrics, and don't give up. It's the last verse that really describes my attitude this year.

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More holiday cheer tomorrow.