A Bad Day

August 02, 2006

You know how in Peanuts, a really angry person would be represented by a sour face and a big bunch of scribble right over their head? Well that's how Mrs. theskinnyonbenny looked yesterday morning.

It started at 3:30 in the morning. For some reason, I was awake, watching a show about crocodiles on the National Geographic channel. To my great surprise, Mrs. theskinnyonbenny bolted out of the bedroom angry enough to be fitted for a straight jacket.

I should back up.

A couple of weeks ago, I was out of town. While I was gone, a little cat -- who happens to look almost exactly like one of our current cats -- showed up, let himself in through the dog door, and helped himself to a cat food dinner. He continued to stick around for attention and free cat food for the next couple of weeks, caring not about being chewed on by dogs or making friends with the native house cats.

We called him Fletch -- after the Chevy Chase character who dresses up like something he's not and goes where he doesn't belong. (Which is Chevy Chase's best character? Irwin Fletcher vs. Clark Griswald. Debate amongst yourselves.)

Fletch had let himself in trough the dog door, jumped up into bed, and taken a whiz right there by my sweet, slumbering wife.

I sent her to bed in the spare bedroom and scrubbed cat pee out of the mattress. Around 4:00, I fell asleep on the couch.

Later in the morning, we were getting ready for work, and Mrs. theskinnyonbenny was still steamed. She pulled out some underpants, only to find they had been chewed to ruin by one of the dogs. She stomped around more angrily still.

Then, when she was almost dressed and ready to leave, she stuck a foot into a sock. I guess the sock was pretty threadbare, because her foot went right through the end, turning it into a flimsy sort of leg warmer.

She wadded up the sock in a rage, and threw it as far as possible (about 1 foot -- it was a torn sock). My brain was telling me to stay cool, but my gut couldn't stifle the laugh. I've never seen a foot go through a sock and for that to happen on the tail of these other disasters was just too funny. It was like watching a cartoon, but with real people in your own house.

I'm sure my laughing didn't help matters any, but I don't remember.

On the other hand, I had a pretty good day. I was scheduled to have to go to a training class in Atlanta next week, but it got canceled yesterday. I was in a group of people who chose to not go to this session earlier this year. Procrastination pays.

I got this message from one of the guys who went to the earlier session.

From: Jerrod Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2006 2:25 PM To: Ben Subject: I guess it really does pay to be a lazy mother fucker... Jerrod

I'm going to add that quote to the bottom of my personal stationary.