Anyone interested in how the trip to Las Vegas went? I should start by lambasting that stupid "Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" advertising campaign. Why don't they just take that last step and advertise. "Hey wives and girlfriends, your men sure are going to enjoy the hookers while you're at home and they're out here!"

Dry eyes, nosebleeds, itchy skin. You guess it! It's time to go to Las Vegas. I imagine that I will spend a good percentage of my time in a sports book. I've spent a lot of time in them over the years, and I've yet to find one that meets all of my criteria for an "ideal" sports book.

Here's a quick note to whoever borrowed, broke, or stole the ashtray from the Regal Beagle on New Year's Eve: we bought another one. They're only eight bucks, so here are some thoughts:

I've been a regular visitor to Raising Cane's for many years now. For those of you out of town, Raising Cane's is a fast food place that sells nothing but fried chicken strips. No burgers, no salads, no dark meat, no options for crispy or spicy or anything like that. Just chicken. In a styrofoam box or on a bun. Take it or leave it.

I sure would like to do more posts that just regurgitate email. It isn't that I'm too lazy to make up new stuff. It's just that it hurts less when the asinine nonsense in this space isn't a product of my own brain. I want everyone to resolve to take the time to email me something amusing next week.

I caught just a minute of the Jim Rome show yesterday, and he had listeners emailing sports-related haikus. It didn't sound too challenging, so I thought I would make up some about my local sports life.

As a basketball fan. the main thing that I haven't figured out is how much to heckle the opposition at a woman's basketball game. This is an important question for me this year, because the LSU men's team just is not that good, and the Hornets are downright godawful.

People need some fucking manners. Here are some workplace stories about when they don't have them.

I've been begged by this guy before. He's usually after fifty cents or a couple of bucks. Fairly friendly. I wonder why I can remember people who beg from me three times in a year, but I can't remember to take out the garbage on Thursdays. Tonight, he wanted a ride to Tom drive. It was real close, so what the heck.

My own quote file was once one of my favorite pages on the site. I've shamefully neglected it while bringing up other content. It's one of the few pages that still has very sloppy formatting, and it even got accidentally omitted from the menu on the left when I rewrote that code. I just added a new quote, but that's the first one in a while.

And now that the obligatory seasonal good cheer is out of the way, let's continue to make fun of my coworkers. Oh yes, it didn't take long after my last post to get an email with the other groups who had to take those photos. I was too just busy cooking and herding people through my house to cut out images and make up captions. Let us proceed....

In the interest of job security, I don't normally use this forum to make fun of my employer too much. But once in a while, the satire gods throw you such a beautiful opportunity, you can't pass it up. You see, some genius at work had the bright idea for each different team to take a picture, to format that into some sort of Christmas greeting PDF file, and to send those out to the clients that this particular team supports. As my emailed response to these put it, "let the ridicule begin..."