Once upon a time, there was a cute little Russian kid named Vanya. One night, his parents left him with a nice older lady, while they went out for some reason or other.

As you see, I really didn't have anything to tell the world this week that merited more than a couple of sentences. But I had a lot of false starts -- posts that I started, but that didn't really turn into anything. It starts with a couple of sports topics, but if that doesn't interest you, hit the page down key once or twice for more.

Short little observations. Maybe you'll find one of them funny.

A couple of months ago, I started hearing a conversation here, a radio host there, maybe an occasional podcast where someone pulled a joke from stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. Several times, I thought, "That sounds amusing. I should check it out." But thoughts like that are quickly out of mind.

Shelly came by on Sunday, and she was bearing gifts. Apparently, a shoe store in <a href="/njdispatches/">her ghetto</a> had been looted, but the looters left behind some child shoes, so she gathered up some leftovers, and brought them by during her her weekend visit to Louisiana.

Taking a page from my sister's blog, I'll tell you about an incredibly minor -- but nevertheless irritating -- injury that I've suffered. I'm sure it's not interesting, but I've posted nothing else, and the other two ideas that I have for what to blog this week are going to take up more time than this story.

"Why on Earth did I want a boy?" I never thought I would hear that come from Mrs. theskinnyonbenny's mouth, but sure enough, we had the nastiest, dirtiest kid in Baton Rouge last Sunday, and it got to that point.

Here's a song lyric that jumped out at me as I listened to background music today. It's from a blues song called "Down Homegirl," performed by Alvin Robinson. I don't know if Alvin wrote the tune or is just singing it.

This office where I'm working (I don't feel like giving the name, for some reason) has some of the funniest emails that are broadcast out to everyone. I've never been anywhere like this. Here's a small sampling over the last couple of weeks.

Mrs. theskinnyonbenny and I had made good, and we were living in a big ol' house on the water somewhere or other. By chance, Lisa Marie Presley was our next door neighbor. We had gotten to be friends with her, and she was kind of cool -- not at all like the freak that she is in real life.

Just try fitting current events, breasts, and some recognizable meaning into a paltry 17 syllables. Try, I dare you.

The first book that I've actually finished in almost six months was *The Unconsoled* by Kazuo Ishiguro. Like a couple of others that I had started and then abandoned, this one was tough to complete. I needed a finished book to keep from feeling stupid, so I persevered.