When I left for work today, Vanya was in the den, still in his pajamas, watching a Batman cartoon. When I came by the house at lunchtime, the same episode of Batman was blaring, the volume through the stereo turned up to full blast. I could hear the noisy action from the driveway as I got out of the car. I may never know how the same episode got turned on hours later or how the volume got cranked to the max.

You can read the boxscore for yourself, and you've seen about the TV ratings already. Here are some stats that you'll only see on theskinny.

Two weekends ago, when we went down for the NFC Championship game, Mrs. theskinnyonbenny and I were eating oysters and drinking our lunchtime cocktails at a restaurant called Bourbon House. It happened to be the next shop down from the place where our dear friend Stacie had her rehearsal dinner, and my view out the window happened to be a place where the ladies dance in an exotic style. Penthouse Club, I believe it might have been called.

I just received this invite to a lunch today. The emphasis in the message is mine.

Did everyone get a gander at the giant hog on Greg Oden?

Let's spend some more time thinking about Super Bowl XLIV.

I have to admit, the Saints conference championship has been very moving to me. I'm surprised to find myself a lot more affected than when LSU won either of their football championships. Perhaps, in my mind, the Tigers were always a good team that would one day find their way back, while the Saints seemed to anyone to be one of those franchises destined to muddle through in mediocrity.

If I were a betting man, I would say that I have a photograph of the worst example of burnt food in a microwave oven that you've ever seen. If you can't stand the suspense, scroll to the bottom of the post to see it for yourself. Last Saturday, we had a few people over to watch the Saints game. We ate buffalo wings and white beans during the day.

Sunday night, I went outside to feed Blossom, and as I reached for her bowl, I stepped in a pile of dog poo. I hit a big pile, and my foot landed on it so squarely that it sunk down into the poo, surrounding the bottom edge of the shoe, and threatening to suck it off of my foot as I tried to raise my leg.

I know that it's been exceptionally cold everywhere, and you don't want to read a post about how the puddles were actually frozen when I went outside to see how Lily was getting into the yard next door. And I can handle the cold. I'll bundle up and go out in the upper thirties, no problem.

Baton Rouge actually closed schools today because it's really, really cold. No snow. No ice. It's just butt-cold.

I am hereby making the following three New Year's resolutions... Well, you'll have to read the whole post to see them. But after that, I've got two of my funniest stories.