If I were a betting man, I would say that I have a photograph of the worst example of burnt food in a microwave oven that you've ever seen. If you can't stand the suspense, scroll to the bottom of the post to see it for yourself. Last Saturday, we had a few people over to watch the Saints game. We ate buffalo wings and white beans during the day.

Sunday night, I went outside to feed Blossom, and as I reached for her bowl, I stepped in a pile of dog poo. I hit a big pile, and my foot landed on it so squarely that it sunk down into the poo, surrounding the bottom edge of the shoe, and threatening to suck it off of my foot as I tried to raise my leg.

I know that it's been exceptionally cold everywhere, and you don't want to read a post about how the puddles were actually frozen when I went outside to see how Lily was getting into the yard next door. And I can handle the cold. I'll bundle up and go out in the upper thirties, no problem.

Baton Rouge actually closed schools today because it's really, really cold. No snow. No ice. It's just butt-cold.

I am hereby making the following three New Year's resolutions... Well, you'll have to read the whole post to see them. But after that, I've got two of my funniest stories.

Vanya's class did some little gift for the teacher's birthday, and she sent an email with this photo telling us all thank you.

You know how your bar/restaurant can up the profits? Spot the people with the little kids who would like to sit and enjoy a few rounds, but can't, because the kid needs a nap and would probably go apeshit.

If you have a three year old, you can make some extra money by getting a part time job naming drugs for pharmicutical companies. And it couldn't be easier. Just combine the name of cartoon characters on any two of your household televisions.

This may cost me some presents, but it needs to be reported: Santa is incompetent. Particularly so when it comes to contingency planning.

Yesterday, some miraculous combination of hydrodynamic forces combined in just the right way so that when I flushed the toilet, and the water was about to go down, a teaspoon full flew out and hit me in the shirt.

A few people caught me on the 6:00 news the other day. I finally had a chance to find the segent online, but it's the version from the 10:00, and I didn't make the cut for late-night. I didn't see it myself, but I've heard from a few who did.

In the case of lost luxuries, there are substitutes, and one learns to make do. For example, instead of movies, there are television shows with plots that have conflict and resolution all wrapped up in a tidy hour. Instead of exercise, there's getting winded from hauling toys up and down one's own staircase.