I am -- no shit -- on the cover of the local paper's Fit section this week. Also, there's a fat version of me making his way around town.

You are never going to believe who all is hacking your Facebook.

A description of my post.

Here's a video that has more than 290,000,000 views, so I guess I'm the last person on the bandwagon. i caught this while wishing I could go back to sleep at 5:15 this morning. By 5:17, I was laughing out loud and wide awake.

So what does everyone think of their new iPhone OS? The maps are getting hammered, but I think they're really cool. Of course, they have some flaws, but Google's maps were pretty bad at first too, and they didn't have 3D buildings or turn-by-turn navigation.

My friends, I might just have found an example that's among the worst packaging ever. Behold, the package of Somersaults. Let's start with the cartwheeling sailer. If you look real close, his undershirt is one of those that says, "I'm so gay, I shit rainbows." But in case his dapper sailing outfit -- complete with white shoes and red bandanna -- don't give it away, he's upside down and holding a sunflower.

I am 41 today. I'm such an old man. I guess at this point, the deeper voice, additional muscle, and lengthening penis that we learned about in 6th grade sex ed just isn't in the cards for me.

One drawback of working from home, is the interruption that occurs at the end of the afternoon when the kids get home from school. Yesterday, I heard Vanya at the bottom of the stairs saying this.

On the way into school this morning, Vanya remembered an incident from the previous day. "You know what Papa? Marnie said that Power Rangers weren't real."

Breaking Bad helps me understand addicts. Not because of the content, but because wanting to watch the next episode makes me understand temptation to abandon job and family obligations to do something non-productive. That is to say, in my case, it's hard to pass up the urge to binge watch all day.

On a recent Summer day, we had a plan to drive from Destin to Miami. We had spent a couple of quick days in Destin to hang out with friends there, and we had a boat charter to start from Miami a couple of days later. We planned one long, hard day of driving, which would give us a full day to see a little bit if Miami and to provision for the boat trip.

This is just... Just read this. It's quick.