Your Mother and I Have Been Recently Intimate

Just so you know, there's going to be some vulgar language in this post. There's not a lot, but there's one really bad word used in a really offensive way. If you're offended by such things, move along now.

I've been a fan of Blink 182 since I first heard Dammit on KLSU, which had to be somewhere around 1995 or so. I bought all of their studio albums over the years, but I didn't pick up the live album with mostly the same songs. Which means that I missed this masterpiece.

If your computer, browser, and corporate network policy allow you to listen to this, go ahead and give it a go. It's a short song, so stick with it until the end of the singing. The last 20 seconds or so are just junk, so you can cut it off then.

Sorry Captain. Your browser does not support plug-ins for digital video. The last line kills me. Takes this from a song that I really enjoy to a masterpiece. My favorite story about the sentiment expressed in that last line is this one. Scene: a beautiful night, late spring or early summer. We are at an event center in Baton Rouge with chairs set up outside and tables, chairs, and dance floor at the ready inside. Everything is decorated perfectly. Jared and Yvette's wedding proceeds in the makeshift outdoor theater without a hitch. After the ceremony, I was standing outside, sipping my first drink, and bullshitting with some of our other friends. I finished my first drink at the same time as Marcel, and followed him inside and up to the bar. As we got to the bartender, Eddie walked up to get a refill. It seems like we were only 15-20 minutes into the reception, but somehow, Eddie was already tanked. He was the only drunk person in the room that early, and he spoke very loudly. "HEY MARCEL! HOW'S YOUR MOM?" A group of really old relatives turned to stare from a nearby table. One old man looked exactly like Wilfred Brimley. I found out later that he was a preacher or deacon or some such thing. Marcel was suspicious of the question, but still managed to answer. "Uuhhh, she's okay. Why?" Without a pause, "BECUASE SHE WAS PRETTY SORE AFTER THE FUCKIN' I SLAPPED ON HER LAST NIGHT!" The old people reacted similarly to the old people dining near Rodney Dangerfield during the dinner in Caddyshack. I was handed my new drink right about that time, and I fled the scene, hoping to be spared if anyone was going to be asked to leave. But I have been laughing at that line ever since.