Has Anyone Seen My Loincloth?

Like most people, I detest Monday mornings. But it isn't that I dread getting in the car and handling a commute; my commute is only seven minutes. And it isn't getting to my desk and dealing with whatever comes my way. In fact, there has been a crisis each of the past few Mondays. Perhaps I'm jaded, but the client crisis doesn't get me too worked up any more. Sure, I'll try to address the problem right away, but it's not something I sweat. Or dread.

No, the part I hate is the whole part about getting dressed appropriately for work. This is especially annoying to me in the summertime. If it was entirely up to me, I would be dressed something like a native on an island -- nothing but a loincloth of some sort -- accessorized by a big hat to keep the sun out of my face. Loincloth and hat. Nothing more.

I'm able to get pretty close to this during the weekend. For example, between when I left work Friday and got dressed this morning, I had on shoes for about 5 hours (a longish bike ride, a movie, and a quick trip through the grocery store). I wore a shirt for maybe 10 or 12. But at least my legs were free the entire time.

This morning, I picked a pair of nice slacks. Cotton, but thick. And starched. Let me just tell you that pulling those up over my ass was torture to me. It really was.

When I pulled into the parking lot at work, I pulled on socks and shoes, which made me feel even more hot and constricted. I feel tight and constricted. I know, I have problems. Perhaps I need some anti-anxiety drugs to help me get dressed on Mondays.

(At least I don't have to put down a long sleeved shirt or a tie or jacket. When I first started my current job, I had to wear a tie every day, and I'm not a computer geek to the level that would allow one to wear a tie with a short-sleeved shirt. Top that off with wool pants and wing tips. Yikes. I would barely dress that nice for a wedding in this day and age.)

Compounding the discomfort, it is officially "Mexico hot," now. Just last week, the weather turned from a normal hot, to a boiling, steaming, melting agony that can barely be tolerated.

At least in long pants.