Clemson

January 08, 2016

Just as the ACC is sort of a low-rent version of the SEC, Clemson is the obvious low-rent equivalent to LSU.

Perhaps they were first to call their stadium "Death Valley"

, but we all know where opponents dreams go to die -- it's the Tiger Stadium where it never rains.

And I'm going to have to ask other Tiger-mascoted schools to go ahead and stop using Tiger Rag as a fight song. That's a New Orleans standard, going back to when Jazz sprung up as a genere more than 100 years ago. Clemson isn't alone in this transgression. I'm fairly certain that I've heard the familiar strains during Memphis and Missouri games also.

Clemson even goes as far as to mix in purple. Here's an especially egregious combination of LSU wannabeism:

While we're making fun, this IS NOT a tiger mascot:

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Isn't that the silliest looking thing you've ever seen? You would think it's a mascot for Tiger Unfinished Furniture in Pilsbury, Kansas. I can't believe a major college trots a cheerleader flunkie out in that costume.

In fact, I once put on a corporation's leprechaun mascot costume and wandered around at a minor league hockey game, and it was a lot better than that, even though it was made for the leprechaun being down on the ice, so his face was permanently tilted upward at about 30 degress. Wandering around the concourse, I looked like a stuck up leprechaun who couldn't be bothered to look at the little people who go to minor league hockey games. It worked out well when I ran over little kids, though.

This is a tiger mascot:

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Or even this clown, whose head is correctly proportioned, at least:

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For all of that, I'd rather the fake Tigers will it all than Alabama. Bama's had quite enough success for this decade century. And I would very much enjoy listening to angry drunk Bama callers into the college radio postgame shows.