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December 16th, 2014

Once in a very great while, I site next to the kids while they are calm and quiet, and I have a chance to think over the fun we’ve had over the last few weeks or months. Tonight, I wondered how much I will remember from the past month. The answer popped into my head as quickly as the question. I will only remember what I photograph or write here. So, as much as I wouldn’t enjoy reading someone else’s parenting blog….

(But I have been meaning to tell you all a story about my friend’s German neighbor and the phrase “monkey nuts” for a good six months. Let this be a tease. I’ll try to get that story posted over the Christmas break.)

In preschool a couple of weeks ago,

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Disney, Once Again Filling Toddler Minds with Filth

December 10th, 2014

For a number of weeks, three-year-old Kolya has insisted that Anna from Frozen has a line in a song where she sings, “Pain in the Ass.” I found that to be a highly dubious claim, and when I caught him watching it after work yesterday, I asked him to give me a call when the “Pain in the Ass” part comes on.

Alas, I had missed it.

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You Checked Our Shitters, Honey?

December 8th, 2014

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, we went to get our Christmas tree. The specific criteria we had made it hard to find a place to go.

  • We wanted to cut it down ourselves.
  • The one we’ve gone to for years closed a couple of seasons ago.
  • The (not really very) close Christmas tree farm that’s left is staffed by a big monster bitch of a woman, so we didn’t want to go there.

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Embrace Technology, You Idiot Billionaires

December 3rd, 2014

I just heard that the Washington Redskins store had a Cyber Monday sale. Great deals, we missed, but you had to go to the web site, pick out what you want, and phone them to place your order.

There are a thousand old ladies knitting afghans who have an ebay store that let you order without picking up the phone. How about a billion dollar organization that can’t?

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This Week in Happiness

November 20th, 2014

A few of the many things that made me happy this week:

  • Vanya’s school had a Thanksgiving thing where we all go eat with the class. V served himself a typical little kid lunch: chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, and a roll. While he was eating, the mom who brought the potatoes stopped and asked him how he liked them.

    “Terrible! he replied.”

    “Well, they were made with love,” she said.

    That was a little embarrassing, but funny all the same.

  • Buffalo Bills player Sammy Watkins (formerly of Clemson) experienced his very first snow, with a monster storm up there in upstate New York. His twitter feed has been like readking the reaction of a little kid. It almost makes me think that it would be fun to be up there. Check out this video.
  • I tweeted this earlier today, so sorry if it’s a repeat: Barbie: I Can Be a Computer Scientist. Even if you’re already cringing, it’s worse than you think.

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Went Sailing Sunday

October 30th, 2014

Tigers beat a conference team in a game that many expected them to lose. Saints win an important game that many expected them to lose. On Saturday, I had drinks with good friends and laughed my ass off all night.

On Sunday, we had a beautiful, beautiful sail along the South Shore of Lake Pontchartrain, with fly-by’s from vintage World War II bombers and fighters. Of all days to not bring my good camera. This is the best I could do with my iphone, and I only got shots of one of the planes that continued to fly overhead.

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September 22nd, 2014

A few weeks ago, I was about to head out the back door to put a couple of pork shoulders on the barbecue. Just as I was on my way out, Paul showed up and grabbed the door. I was home by myself, so I welcomed the excuse to ditch the kitchen cleanup and to sit out, smell the meat, and run our mouths.

First, I had to get the fire lit. I put the meat down and poured the charcoal. Then, I thought that I needed a water pan under the meat. The left side of the grill is an upright cold smoker, with a cabinet door that opens like a refrigerator. I popped it open, and as I was turning a way, a small rat poked his head out, like “Hello!”

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Disciplining Your Children

September 19th, 2014

There’s no one of my age — at least no one whose family hails from the rural South — who hasn’t heard, “When I was bad, Daddy made me go outside and pick my own switch.”

I always dismissed this as old person hyperbole. In my mind it belongs with, “I walked fourteen miles to school barefoot every day, and it was uphill in both directions.”

I’m not really all that surprised to find out this week that there are terrible parents who break off a switch and beat their kids with it. A four year old? What the fuck?

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