January 23rd, 2017
A couple of weeks ago, Mrs. theskinnyonbenny and I both got this text message.
We had just had a free dress day for V, and they don’t really use a text system, so we let K pick out his clothes and packed him off to school on Friday. In the drop off line, he said, “There’s Anna. She’s not in free dress.”
January 20th, 2017
Perhaps today marks the end of a free press, the end of US participation in NATO, and open season for pussy grabbing. But then again, maybe it won’t be quite that bad. Here are some reasons to be happy about where we are.
January 18th, 2017
The Louisiana Marathon — or as it’s officially known in my skull, the Louisiana Marathon of Mimosa Consumption — was Sunday. I got up early and hauled a small tailgate party’s worth of chairs, tables, and music out into the driveway so that I could collapse exhaustedly into my chair and nurse my breakfast alcohol as healthy people who had already run 23 miles (23!) that morning passed.
January 4th, 2017
On Christmas morning, I went in for my morning deuce, and found that there was about three squares of toilet paper left on the roll. I had been in both of the other bathrooms the day before, and I knew that this was the extent of toilet paper in our house.
Being full of Christmas spirit, I did the charitable thing by leaving my shorts on the floor, climbing into the bathtub, and using the spray nozzle for a warm, clean, and refreshing bidet experience. Then, when I pulled my shorts back up, they were somehow soaking wet.
December 28th, 2016
I’m going to tell my iPhone to call me Alexa and my Echo to call me Siri. Then, I’m going to start a conversation, shut up, and see where the dialog between the two of them goes.
(Note: I don’t even have an Echo.)
December 9th, 2016
Dear theskinnyonbenny. How long to I have to keep hanging up crappy ornaments that my kids made in preschool?
I hate to break it to you, but you have to keep hanging that shit forever. If it makes things any better, I promise you that I hung more ugly mangled garbage than you, especially since you’re a fictional construct that I used to get this topic moving.
November 10th, 2016
A couple of weeks ago, I somehow picked up a bit of a ringworm on my right calf.
It sounds like I’m a filthy animal, and I am, but it’s just a skin fungus that’s easily treated.
If I had known the variety of looks it would give me as it’s fought the fungicide over the last few days, I would have made it into a photo journal. It started with a bright red circle with itchy, scaly skin in the middle. At other times, it was a red circle with normal skin. A solid red circle. A circle with bumpy skin that didn’t itch. A circle with smooth skin that itched. This morning, it was faded to the point where it was hard to see at all. This afternoon, the former location of the circle was filled with small angry looking welts.
November 7th, 2016
It’s been like a year and a half since I got photos posted to this web site in any sort of manner that is timely enough to share.
We kicked off spooky weekend number one with a visit to a “haunted corn maze” out in the middle of nowhere. It ended up being a really big corn maze that I suspect looked very little like its map picture: